Bride revealing what wedding planner’s assistant did at her big day cheered

A newlywed woman has divided opinion online after a wedding assistant used seating chart information to track down a guest on social media.

The 27-year-old woman shared her experience on the “Am I the A******?” subreddit under the handle u/weddingplannerdrama. She said that, for her recent nuptials, she hired her friend’s wedding planning company, and while the event was executed flawlessly with no complaints, her friend, Clara, revealed an unsettling post-wedding encounter.

According to the bride, Clara received an Instagram message from an unfamiliar man a few days after the wedding. The sender turned out to be one of the assistant coordinators at the event, who said that he had noticed Clara during the wedding but, as he was working, could not approach her.

Instead, he checked the seating chart for her name and searched for her on social media. Clara, feeling uncomfortable, blocked him immediately but described the situation as “funny in hindsight.” Newsweek reached out to u/weddingplannerdrama via Reddit for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this case.

With thousands of reactions and hundreds of comments on Reddit, opinion was divided about whether the incident was cute or creepy.

Reddit user u/Sea-Wolf-1312 said that the bride would be right to report the incident to her friend who owns the wedding planning company. “A lot of people would have an issue with a stranger using his company to find your private, personal information,” the user wrote. “Dude could have walked up and asked at the end of the wedding to be less creepy but decided to illegally get a woman’s information instead.”

Similarly, u/mllebitterness pointed out the importance of setting professional boundaries: “He at the very least needs to be told this isn’t acceptable to do. Who knows if the company has already had other problems with him?”

But other Reddit users thought that reporting the man would be an overreaction. “Am I the only one who doesn’t think this is all that creepy? Perhaps I just have heard far worse ‘how we met’ stories … Anyway, personally I don’t think it’s your place to get involved,” wrote u/BandagedTheDamage.

User u/MaterialMonitor6423 said: “Why would you tattle on the guy as if he was somehow threatening? Would it be any better if he was a random guy that approached her on Tinder? This kind of pearl-clutching and uneasiness with social interaction is a real problem with 20-somethings.”

Jo Hayes, a world-leading etiquette expert and founder of EtiquetteExpert. Org, told Newsweek that it is difficult to make a clear call on the incident.

“This is something of a gray area. There are ways we can ascertain whether or not this was wrong of the wedding assistant, and whether the bride should report it,” Hayes said. “Firstly, I’m pleased to hear the woman being pursued established healthy boundaries. Blocking someone is often the best response—it sends a very clear message: I’m not interested; don’t pursue.”

While the assistant’s actions could have crossed boundaries, Hayes said that it depended on the boundaries set by the company. “There’s every possibility that he’s a very nice, non-creepy guy. He noted that he thought the woman was beautiful and he wanted to get to know her, and he found a way to do it,” Hayes said.

“In some ways, this is very sweet. Instagram messages are the modern-day version of slipping a handwritten note. However, the company may have very clear rules about this sort of thing—zero social/romantic contact with guests, even post-wedding. If this is so, the man has crossed a line.”